he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
