can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
