Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
