She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
