Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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