There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Randomize