Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
