Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
