drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Are we still banned from the library?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Is Oprah even human
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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