It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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