I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
