thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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