I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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