Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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