so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
that is very illegal...i love you.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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