Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
