I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
