so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
