there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
