dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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