Who wears a wallet chain?!
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
MIDGETS
????
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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