I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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