Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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