I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize