i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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