i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
