you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize