i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
