Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
