Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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