i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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