so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
