Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time

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  (650): Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time http://tfl.nu/rwso
  Replies (3) Good night (1278) Bad night (387) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.

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  (515): So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial. http://tfl.nu/ftzk
  Replies (11) Good night (3093) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.

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  (407): He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy. http://tfl.nu/rtg1
  Replies (41) Good night (1753) Bad night (8115) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  she has to be all "alternative"

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  (203): she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head (203): she has to be all "alternative" http://tfl.nu/5hrz
  Replies (8) Good night (619) Bad night (3668)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.

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  (708): High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay. http://tfl.nu/m4rp
  Replies (20) Good night (5081) Bad night (784) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it

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  (678): He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it http://tfl.nu/jk9d
  Replies (18) Good night (9534) Bad night (926) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.

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  (+61): Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking. http://tfl.nu/00hi
  Replies (6) Good night (616) Bad night (1504) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right

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  (+44): I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right http://tfl.nu/f22x
  Replies (20) Good night (2433) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.

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  (716): Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug. http://tfl.nu/908k
  Replies (3) Good night (1282) Bad night (567) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.

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  (630): The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time. http://tfl.nu/80xt
  Replies (7) Good night (2730) Bad night (480)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?

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  (202): you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday? http://tfl.nu/psur
  Replies (5) Good night (3002) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted

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  (512): I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted http://tfl.nu/8clw
  Replies (4) Good night (888) Bad night (350) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.

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  (570): I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women. (570): You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force. http://tfl.nu/ij9q
  Replies (6) Good night (1012) Bad night (354)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"

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  (339): I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step" http://tfl.nu/eora
  Replies (2) Good night (867) Bad night (237) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk

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  (780): Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk http://tfl.nu/rb5a
  Replies (4) Good night (1737) Bad night (244) Order T-Shirt

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