I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
