It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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