Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.