so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
