remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.