big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
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like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
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You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.