This is not my ceiling
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
