my soul wont recognize me after tonight
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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