I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
