2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
