Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
