Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
