Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
