Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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