I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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