Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
vagina is talking i cant
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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