I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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