Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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