I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
