I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
