What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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