Why are handjobs necessary in class?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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