thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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