Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
