I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
