Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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