found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
