my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize