The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
