I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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