haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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