Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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